I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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