Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
