a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
