is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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