remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
