If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
