so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
