We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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