watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
