Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
