saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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