You can't special order awesome
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
