I'm sorry my penis didn't work
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
