2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
