sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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