At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
