Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
