doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
