...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
