i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
