bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
