I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
