roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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