I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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