At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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