so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
