He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
