If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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