I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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