Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
