Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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