If i come over, it means nothing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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