Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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