youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
