My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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