Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
