You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
