i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
