Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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