Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
