Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
