Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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