Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Alive.
So much puke
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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