I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
