Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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