Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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