his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
