I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
