...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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