i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
